18 December 2018

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 4 — Rules?

In case you've missed them... Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

I've read many articles about riding in Vietnam. The great majority are written by people who only visited for a short time and those all say that there are no rules; that it's every person for him/herself.

Those writers are showing their ignorance!

Of course there are rules; they're just not the rules as you know them. It took me almost three years to figure out some of them—especially the one I call, "Do whatever the fuck you want; no one else matters."

Contrary to what you might think watching traffic go by, there are helmet laws in Vietnam that say everyone over the age of six MUST wear a helmet. The main problem with this law, other than the danger to little kids, is that apparently any semi-solid head covering is considered a "helmet". I've seen guys riding US$40,000 motorcycles (taxes and duties here add almost 100% to the cost) wearing a soft bicycle helmet as they rip through the streets of Saigon as if they're in a hurry to get on to whatever afterlife they believe in. Watch traffic in any city for an hour and you'll see construction hard hats with no chin strap; "gimme" helmets that wouldn't protect you if you fell off a chair; and a number of people who either don't fasten the chin strap or have it so loose that if they fall, the helmet would separate from their head before either hit the pavement.

The other problem is that most kids under 10 still aren't wearing a helmet.

As I've written before, there is virtually no safety education here re helmets. Most everyone wears one so the police don't stop them—except my wife. who wears one mostly because she doesn't want to listen to me bitch at her if she doesn't. Fortunately, Honey loves her 3/4 helmet, wears it everywhere,

and begged me to buy her a pink full-face helmet we saw one day. It's now hers, we're just waiting for her to grow into it.

How would you fare riding a motorbike in Vietnam? Take this simple quiz to find out if you know the rules.

Choose the best answer:

  1) When turning right, you
       a) Look to your left to ensure it's safe to proceed.
       b) Look both ways—someone could be walking down the sidewalk.
       c) Stop; look both ways; proceed when clear
       d) Don't even slow down, just go for it.

  2) When turning left, you turn from
       a) Your left lane to the new street's left lane
       b) Your left lane to the new street's right lane
       c) Your right lane to the new street's right lane
       d) Either b) or c) depending on your mood

  3) On a two-way street, the far right path is for
       a) Slower traffic
       b) People turning right onto that street
       c) On-coming traffic
       d) Both b) and c)

  4) The lines on the road are there
       a) To let you know which lane is yours
       b) To mark the center of the road
       c) To indicate whether or not it may be safe to pass another vehicle
       d) Because they have them in other countries

  5) Turn right from the right lane and left from the left lane.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) It depends.
       d) All of the above

  6) When your friend has had too much to drink, you should
       a) Take away his keys.
       b) Put him in a taxi or take him home yourself.
       c) Help him balance on his motorbike until he gets some momentum going.
       d) Both b) and c)

  7) When using your phone, you should
       a) Pull off the road until you are finished.
       b) Tell them you'll call them back when you're not driving.
       c) Ask them to call you back in 10 minutes.
       d) Not let it stop you or slow you down.

  8) When stopping to ask directions or look at the map on your phone,
       a) Pull over to the far right lane.
       b) Stop wherever you are, even if there's traffic all around.
       c) Who has time to stop? Multitask.
       d) Either b) or c)

  9) Who has the right-of-way?
       a) Whomever is in/on the largest vehicle
       b) Whomever has the biggest cojones
       c) The vehicle on the right
       d) Both a) and b)

10) The maximum safe speed is
       a) Dependent on road & weather conditions
       b) 40 kph within city limits; 60 kph outside
       c) As posted
       d) Whatever I decide it is

11) The traffic police
       a) Wear yellow uniforms
       b) Point a white baton at you when they want to talk
       c) Will accept traffic fines on-the-spot
       d) All of the above

12) The right lane is for motorbikes and the left lane is for everything else.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) In theory
       d) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (pause for a breath) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

13) When a car, truck, or bus flashes its lights at you, it means
       a) Your brights are on
       b) There are police just ahead
       c) Hello
       d) I want to be where you are. MOVE NOW!

14) The minivans are the WORST and will take you out if you let them.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) Sometimes
       d) Well, DUH-UH!

15) When entering a roundabout, who has the right-of-way?
       a) The vehicle in the roundabout.
       b) I do.
       c) Right-of-way? What's that?
       d) Either b) or c)

16) Using your headlight outside cities is
       a) Stupid because the zombies will catch you
       b) For sissies
       c) Optional
       d) Why are you riding out in the country at night? Are you suicidal?

17) Slower traffic
       a) Stays to the right
       b) Goes wherever they want
       c) May stop suddenly with no warning or turn into you
       d) Both b) and c)

18) Most locals ride as if
       a) There is no one else on the road
       b) Either their hair is on fire or going over 10 kph will kill them
       c) Whatever is behind their front wheel does not exist
       d) All of the above

19) Having the correct tire pressure is
       a) Crucial to your safety
       b) Not all that important—anywhere from 5 to 58 psi (0.35 to 4 bar) is fine
       c) There's a "correct" tire pressure?
       d) Either b) or c)

20) When making a u-turn, you
       a) Pull over to the right and wait until there is a break in traffic.
       b) Wait until the next roundabout or large intersection.
       c) U-turns are not allowed within city limits.
       d) Just go for it wherever the urge hits; everyone can wait as you block traffic.

21) When parking,
       a) Park only in designated spaces.
       b) Park anywhere, even blocking a business's main entrance.
       c) Park on the sidewalk, especially where you will block pedestrians.
       d) Both b) and c)

22) Riding on the sidewalk is permissible
       a) Never
       b) Only if there are no pedestrians within 50 meters
       c) Only during daylight hours
       d) Whenever you want to; no one else matters but you

How do you think you did? Let's find out...

Did you notice a pattern in your answers?

The answer to 6 is c)

The best answer to all the others is... d)

If you missed more than 5, it may be best to forget about riding a motorbike and bring a bit more money so you can take taxis or buses everywhere. They're very cheap.

Either way, enjoy your trip!

23 November 2018

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 3 — Tips

A bit of what follows was touched on in either Part 1 or Part 2Part 4 includes a couple bits repeated from previous parts because reading them again will both help you remember and let you know that it's really important.

Buying and then riding a motorcycle in throughout Vietnam is a very interesting process that can be a good-to-great experience. It can also go sideways very rapidly. If you are careful, have some basic knowledge of motorcycles and how they work, take your time, and think beyond the purchase price to the overall cost of ownership over the three or four weeks you will own the bike, your trip will be one of the most rewarding of your life. Too many people come here looking for the lowest cost motorcycle they can find and then waste days they could be riding trying instead to get the POS repaired. Don't be one of them.

While researching my first trip to Vietnam/Southeast Asia, almost everything I read said that the best or only way to truly experience it is on two wheels. I took a motorcycle training course, got my license, bought a bike, and less than 20 miles later, broke my left clavicle in a low-speed one-vehicle crash. Most of my friends said that this was the universe's way of telling me that I should not ride. I took it as a warning to f*cking pay attention. That December (2013), I arrived in Vietnam for the first time. As detailed in my very early (see December 2013 in the column to the right) posts on this blog, I bought a motorcycle in Saigon and then spent three of my 10 weeks here riding to Hanoi, mostly solo.

Hiking the Inca Trail in my mid-50's was a major "get" and one that I enjoy more in my memories than I did at the time.

How 'bout that hat?
My ride on a 125cc Yamaha YBR from Saigon to Hanoi at 60 (years old, not kph) was, literally, a life-changer. Today, five years later, I've ridden in Cambodia, Cuba, Canada, Laos, Thailand, and the US. I no longer have any interest in owning a four-wheeled vehicle and look forward to future long-distance motorcycle trips in many other countries.

Please, please, PLEASE learn to ride BEFORE you get here!!! The great majority of the dozens of moto-backpackers I've met here NEVER even rode pillion (passenger) on a motorcycle before arriving, see literally everyone over the age of 15 riding a motorbike, and think, "Hell, if they can do it, it can't be that hard/so can I." (see Part 2)

NO, you can't!!!

If you don't ride already, there are a LOT of things you don't know that can seriously injure or kill you. For example, above about 20 kph, the physics are TOTALLY DIFFERENT than those of riding a bicycle. One of them is that if you push the right handgrip away from you, you will lean over and turn to the right.

Some of the things that it will help you to know if you ride in Vietnam:
1) 99+% of the people who turn right onto a roadway NEVER look to see if it's safe; they just go.
2) Though at first it will not seem like it, there are "rules of the road".
3) Those rules here are DIFFERENT than those of your home country.
3) Paved surfaces outside (and sometimes in) the cities can be much closer to what Westerners would call "off-road".
4) Some of the buses and many of the minivans you encounter will actively try to run you off the road.
5) If you assume that EVERYONE else on the road is trying to kill you, you will fare much better. They're not, though it will often seem they are.
6) As my friend Glen said just yesterday, the biggest waste of money in Vietnam is that spent painting the lines in the middle of roads.
7) Also always assume you are invisible...

Please note that I am NOT trying to discourage the adventurous you; I am simply telling you that you need more preparation than you think you do.

Before you leave your home country, make sure you have emergency evacuation insurance like that provided by MedJet or Global Rescue. I have Global Rescue and am very happy with their customer service. If you are more than 60 miles from your home address and need emergency transport, they will take care of it for you—including a medical jet, if necessary. They also have medical professionals (nurses, PAs, etc.) with whom you can consult over the phone for less serious medical issues. Like any insurance, you're probably not going to need it, but if you do, you're gonna be glad you have it. If I go down hard, motorcycle or not, ViLa and friends here know to call Global Rescue to evacuate me to the US for medical care.

I guarantee that you do NOT want to spend even one hour of your vacation in a Vietnamese hospital. If you are unfortunate enough to be their guest, you will have to pay cash up-front for everything—even if you have insurance. You pay a deposit when you arrive, then you pay again before you see each doctor or have an x-ray or do anything other than sitting and waiting. The medical system here is not set up to bill insurance companies, so you pay up-front and wait for the insurance company to reimburse you. Individual items and services aren't expensive, but they do add up... and if you don't have the cash, you'll either have to find it or suffer elsewhere. There is no "charity" at Vietnamese hospitals.

If you're in the hospital overnight, you'd better have some friends or family to bring you food and protect your valuables or you won't eat and your things may wander off while you sleep. The locals usually have a family member or friend rent a cot and sleep when the patient isn't. You'll also need cash to entice the doctors and nurses to pay attention to you during your stay. Worst case, send me an email and I'll see if I can contact someone in the same city who can help you out.

There are a number of good web sites out there with tips and/or routes and/or trip blogs (trogs?). My favorite for trip blogs is Vietnam Coracle. It's written by a Brit who rides all over Vietnam on a 125cc scooter and manages to find all kinds of seemingly-hidden-to-most-Westerners gems; restaurants, hotels, roads, and more. I recommend it every chance I get. AdvRider, Horizons Unlimited, RideAsia are also good sources of information. Nomadasaurus is a good one for fairly up-to-date travel information, though it is one on which you need to be selective as to which posts you believe. My feeling is that, on most sites, if you go with the majority opinion, you'll most likely be alright. The link to Nomadasaurus will take you to a page dedicated to the topic of buying a motorbike in SE Asia. If you go to their home page, you will find a lot of other information/opinions. My biggest gripe with the site is the repetition caused by people who post questions without bothering to read the previous questions and responses where their question is very often already answered.

If you would like more information, send an email to "jdpearce at proton dot me". I will reply with a couple of PDFs of things I wrote for my friend who owns Flamingo Travel to give to customers and prospective customers. One is about riding here and the other is full of tips on how to buy a second-hand motorbike. I think you'll find them both interesting and useful.

Print them out and read them a few times before you get on the plane and then again on the plane. You'll have time; it's a 15+ hour trip from the North American west coast and longer from other places on the continent. If you're in Europe or Australia, it's a bit less time on the plane, though still plenty of time to review them again.

While looking for something else, I found these videos that you might find useful:

Buying a bike

Why you do NOT want a Chinese bike

Come to Vietnam for the riding trip of a lifetime. Just remember to stay safe while you're enjoying all there is to offer here.

28 October 2018

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 2 — Reality

If you haven't read Part 1, it's here.

From yesterday's news:

"Road crashes are a leading cause of deaths in Vietnam, killing almost one person every hour. More than 9,000 traffic accidents occurred in the first half of this year, killing nearly 4,100 people and injuring over 7,000, according to the National Traffic Safety Committee."

Click here: Fatal mishaps prompt Vietnamese province to curb traffic violations by foreigners


They're not all foreigners, of course. The great majority are locals. Do you want to take the chance you're one?

Did you notice that the locals are often more interested in gawking and taking photos than helping?

If you don't have a motorcycle license and a bit of experience, DO NOT ride a motorcycle in Vietnam.


Full stop.

Yes, riding through the country on two wheels is, by far, the BEST way to see Vietnam. It is probably a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so do it right.

If you want to ride a motorbike here,

1) Take a motorcycle safety class and get your license.
2) Buy a motorcycle and get at least a couple thousand road miles under your belt.
3) Take an off-road riding class.
4) Ride Forest Service roads and a few dirt trails. Get comfortable with your rear wheel sliding out.
5) Bring your helmet, armored jacket, and sturdy ankle-protecting boots, and come ride Vietnam.

Stay safe.

Part 3 is here.

Part 4 is here.
Part 5 is here.
Part 6 is here.

25 October 2018

The Ease of Switching to Medicare — Part 2

If you've not yet read "Part 1", it's here...

Uh, yeah. It wasn't over...

This morning, 8 hours after I posted Part 1, I went to to sign up for an on-line account. They won't let me.

They say they can't match the information I gave them. That's probably because they require a five-digit zip code and mine is six, FFS! Yes, I tried using only the first five—no joy. I also tried 00000 because when I called Medicare to get help, they said they don't have a zip code for me, though they do have the rest of my address.

That didn't work, either.

Now I'm on hold waiting to talk with someone at Social Security. Five minutes after they told me the wait would be "one hour and a half" on hold, the computer said, "We regret you've waited so long..." LMAO

Thinking about the fact that Social Security writes "over 50 million" benefit checks every month to retirees, severely disabled, and others, I'm wondering how many people die each day while waiting on hold to talk with them.

For those who survive, how much productivity is lost while untold hundreds wait 90 minutes to talk to someone who may not even be able to help them? In previous calls, I've been asked if I want someone to call me back when it's my turn. That would allow me to do a bit more sandblasting or pack for my upcoming trip or take a shower. No such courtesy this time.

29 minutes down, 61 to go... give-or-take.


After 1 hour, 31 minutes, 16 seconds, my call was FINALLY picked up. And the person on the other end of the line COULDN'T FUCKING HEAR ME EVEN THOUGH I WAS YELLING after the third time she said she couldn't hear me. The computer at the beginning could hear me just fine, so WTF? It was probably due to my call being via Skype; unfortunately the best way I've found to call outside of Vietnam.

The pain and frustration of this was apparently insufficient, because I called back immediately, jumped through all of the pre-qualifying hoops, and was told my "estimated wait time is 35 minutes." Could be worse, right?

So... the agent could hear me this time and added my proper postal code. The number they were using was the "Consular Code" 962 that identifies me as closest to the Consulate in Saigon. As if that's going to help Vietnam Post find me!

In 24-48 hours, the MyMedicare site should have the changed data and let me register.

Now the bad news... until I turn 66, Social Security claws back $1 for every $2 I make over $17,040 in addition to SSI AND I still get to pay taxes on both the SSI and other incomes. What a crock of shit! How do they expect people to "live" just on SSI? Thank you Congress, you privileged assholes who have no fucking clue what it's like to survive in the real world. Example: The wife of soon to be ex-Senator Ted Cruz (Vampire—Texas) works for Goldman-Sachs (the firm that's directly responsible for EVERY economic crash for over 100 years) and pulls down about $500,000 per annum PLUS bonuses. Ted, the most hated-by-his-peers man in Congress, makes $174,000. She recently complained that at over $700,000 a year they can't afford to buy a second home anytime soon. Boo-fucking-hoo.

What's that say for those of us who make less than $35,000 a year? Note that Vampire Ted and his wife only pay FICA on about 17% of their income, while the rest of us pay it on 100% of our income. They're also at the forefront of the attempts by the Radical Right to either get rid of or privatize Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, etc.

QUIT CALLING THESE PROGRAMS "entitlements"! I paid into them for over 45 years and it'll be at least 6 years before I get back the money I lent the government. They are INSURANCE programs. Either learn how insurance works or STFU.

Even living in Vietnam, without SSI checks every month, I'd be hurtin' for certain.

Oh, yeah. I'm also paying for Medicare every month, just like everyone else who is covered.

24 October 2018

The "Ease" of Switching to Medicare

That it's a government-run program under the regime of the Perpetually Lying/ Ignorant/Nationalist/Fake Self-made Billionaire/Hate-Monger/Racist/Misogynist/ Xenophobe/Fake Christian/Born-between-third-base-and-home-plate-and-thinks-he-hit-a-homer President Bone Spurs, should have warned me it was going to be a cluster-fuck... and I guess in some ways it did.

Since my birthday is in November and this is the year I complete my 65th lap around the sun, I theoretically get to partake in Medicare starting 01 November. Like a good German, I called Medicare three months prior to sign up. They told me that since I am already collecting the money I paid over 45 years of working back from Social Security that I would be automatically enrolled in Medicare. They also told me that they would send my Medicare card—necessary to show all providers if you want coverage—months before that 01 November beginning date and that it would be sent to me here at my home in Vietnam, since that's the address Social Security has for me.

They lied.

Go figure...

I am going to the US next week for a couple weeks of facilitation the first two weeks of November. As soon as I knew about the work, I called and made a few doctors' appointments. Since I'm unsure how much I'll have to pay out-of-pocket under Medicare, I did what I could to schedule everything for the week of 29 October. As of now, there is only one scheduled after my Medicare benefits kick in, though that may change.

I called Medicare last week to ask why I'd not yet received my card. Their computers were down, so the woman who answered my call told me to call back.

I just got off the phone with Medicare. They told me:

1) My card has NOT YET BEEN MAILED (so much for "months before").
2) They can NOT give me my Medicare number over the phone.
3) I need my Medicare number to get a provider to talk with or look at me.
4) They can only mail a card to the address (Vietnam) Social Security has for me.
5) If I go to the Social Security office after I arrive in the US, they can probably give me a letter verifying my Medicare coverage.

    a) On a good day, a visit to the Olympia Social Security office will burn only 3 hours.
    b) They can PROBABLY give me the letter, so I might waste 3 hours for nothing.


I took a chance and called Social Security with the hope that MAYBE someone there could give me my Medicare number over the phone.

*The phones open for business at 7 a.m. in each time zone.
*I called FROM VIETNAM at 6:50 a.m PST, hoping they wouldn't put me in the Pacific Time Zone.
*They did.
*I called back at 7:02 a.m. PST and was told that all agents are busy and if I give them a call-back number, I don't have to wait on hold.
*I gave them my US number and was told I'd get a call back in ONE HOUR AND 15 MINUTES!!!
*Only 2 minutes after the phone lines open and they're already backed up 38x that long??? How does that happen?

My penultimate question to the Medicare person was... "Why did they not yet send my Medicare card?"

The answer was that they have to mail out new cards to EVERYONE because they are no longer using Social Security numbers as Medicare numbers.

My last question was, "Why didn't they put new Medicare customers at the front of the queue because we don't have an old card to use?"

The answer was, "I don't know."

I'm thinking no one who's still there under Der Fuehrer is bright enough to figure out a way to do that.

Or maybe they saw my Twitter account?

11 October 2018

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 1 — The Basics

I just read about a kid (I'm guessing early- to mid-20's from the "before" photo) who had a bad motorbike accident here in Vietnam and his family's trying to raise money on a crowdfunding site to pay for his medical bills.

I'm sorry he had a bad accident, BUT NOT enough to reward his irresponsible stupidity. Anyone who rides a motorbike in Vietnam without proper licensing AND insurance is just asking for trouble.

Anyone who rides a motorbike anywhere outside his/her own country without emergency evacuation insurance is just plain stupid.

Sure, we all think "it won't happen to me" until it does.

DO NOT come to Vietnam or anywhere to ride a motorbike without:
1) Previous motorcycle riding experience (as the operator)
2) Proper medical evacuation insurance (I highly recommend Global Rescue)
3) Valid medical insurance that covers you HERE
4) A valid driver's license AND International Driving Permit
5) A good, solid, full face helmet with DOT or ECE rating
6) Common fucking sense

The last one was added after I read about a guy who crashed while taking a selfie WHILE RIDING FAST.

"What a maroon!"—Bugs Bunny

Re the International Driving Permit (IDP)... Vietnam recognizes ONLY IDPs issued by signers of a 1968 agreement. The IDP from most countries (including the US, the UK, and Australia) is recognized under an 1949 agreement. Vietnam does NOT recognize these.

That said, get one and carry it with you along with your home country driver's license WITH MOTORCYCLE ENDORSEMENT. If you get hurt in an accident, there's a strong chance your insurance will cover your injuries.

If you are injured in an accident and DO NOT have a valid motorcycle license, there's an excellent chance your insurance will NOT cover your medical bills. I've read on social media where people say they just told the insurance company they were walking and got hit by a motorbike, BUT that's fraud and a really, really bad idea.

Re the helmet... the laws of physics are the same in Vietnam as in your home country, though you couldn't tell it by looking at the backpackers I see weekly riding in a wife-beater, flip-flops, and shorts topped off with the standard Vietnamese helmet. As I've written here before, 99+% of the helmets worn by native Vietnamese are designed only to keep the police from stopping and citing them. The idea that it should protect your brain carrier is completely lost. If you ride at home, you probably have a good helmet. Bring it. If you ride without a helmet or with a POS helmet, you deserve whatever happens to you—including having to re-learn the alphabet. Or worse.

Part 2 covers the reality of riding here... and is a MUST READ.

Part 3 offers riding tips.
Part 4 is on the rules of riding in Vietnam.
Part 5 is a meme.
Part 6 is about the worst-case scenario.
Part 7 is a photo that sums it all up.

Until then, be smart and stay safe.

27 August 2018

How do YOU answer a question in the negative?

As a native English-speaker living in a country with a tonal language, there are innumerable opportunities for misunderstanding, even with locals who speak pretty good English.

Small mistakes like, "We came here on a car" are easy to correctly understand. This does bring up, at least to me, the question of why is it we travel "in" a car, but "on" a bus when we are actually inside (in most cases) both of them?

One of the great opportunities I have for misunderstanding with many Vietnamese who speak English presents when I ask them a question in the negative. For example, "Are you sure you don't want to go?" Most Westerners answer "Yes" (I'm sure).

Every English-speaking Vietnamese I know answers, "No" (I don't want to go).

After almost four years here, I still have to pause after asking such a question to think about how their "yes" is my "no" and respond correctly. Most often, I immediately ask the question again in a different way: "You don't want to go?" which gives me a "Yes" (I don't want to go) and frequently a look questioning why I asked again. Somehow, this makes more sense to me: "Yes, I don't want to go." We westerners, would of course, answer, "No, I don't want to go."

Re-wiring my brain to "get it" on the first try is going to take a bit longer.

09 August 2018

Twitter is run by twits

Forget about the fact that Twitter is allowing Alex Jones to continue spewing his hatred, lies, and ridiculous conspiracy theories while Google, YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook have banned him...

Apparently CEO @Jack has also hired a bunch of twits to run his support department, too!

Tired of the BULLSHIT that is most of Facebook, I recently switched to using Twitter for my political opining and for some basic information. More detailed information is gleaned from a number of non-social media platforms.

I never actually sign out of Twitter, I just close the browser window. Yes, my laptop cameras are all covered with black electrical tape so if any of the sites I visit try to turn on the camera, they'll only see a black screen.

This morning, when I opened Safari (default browser for Macs), Twitter wanted me to sign in. Okay, no problem.

Uh, yes it is.

After putting in my email address and password, I get this screen:

WTF??? I did NOT sign up for secondary verification! Oh, well... once I sign in I can remove it.

So I waited...

And waited...

And waited...

So far, 10 hours later, no SMS with a six-digit code. No SMS messages AT ALL from Twitter. And yes, my phone number ends in 67. I even tried to log in with my phone number, but still got the same promise of a six-digit code.

Those who read this and know me are, most likely, thinking, "There's NO WAY he waited 10 hours before contacting Twitter Support!"

And you would be right. I waited all of 4 minutes before going to the "Support" page.

Scanning EVERYTHING, I found that the only real "support" you can get is IF YOU ARE ALREADY LOGGED IN. The only option open to me was to "Submit A Ticket" to "Report A Problem".

After completing the form and playing the Captcha game, I submitted the ticket.

Within 20 seconds, I got the following email. There's no need to read the whole thing, it's just more of the BS that's on the so-called "Support" page and of no use to someone who's NOT already logged in. Note the last paragraph; the one beginning with, "If you've tried the above options and still need help..."

YES, I STILL NEED HELP! So I "reply to this email for further assistance... from the email address associated with ... (my) Twitter account. Almost immediately, I get this:

I'm stuck in a flippin' loop!!!

Now I'm looking for the cameras from "Candid Camera". Then I remember that Alan Funt's been dead for decades and realize that I've been punked by an auto-responder and now one's even watching. F*CK!

What's worse, no actual person will ever see my dilemma.

This is VERY frustrating, BUT not enough to get me to create a new account and start over.

Screw Twitter! I'm gonna go out and play.

Note: After 3 days, I finally got the six-digit code and was able to log in to my account. No explanation as to why things suddenly changed, though.

03 July 2018

Breakdown — Sept 2016

September 2016
I bought a Delorme (now Garmin) InReach Explorer

for 25% off at REI's 2016 Memorial Day sale and it was waiting for me in one of the dozens of boxes of things I'd ordered before arrival.

Soon after arriving back in Tacoma on my new-to-me R100GS, I activated it.

On September 1, I rode from Tacoma, WA toward Western Montana for an Airheads Tech Weekend where I'd learn to wrench on my beautiful bike. The InReach was in my jacket pocket.

A couple hours into the ride, the bike lost power. No sputter like when running out of gas, just died. After five minutes, it started up. Then, 20 miles further down the road it died; this time for good. Cayuse Pass (just west of Mount Rainier) was behind me and Yakima, WA was 45 miles in front of me.

This is the actual tracking map of my route provided by the InReach
The nearest cell service was about 10 miles out of Yakima... 35 miles ahead, so I turned off my phone to save the battery.

The roadside assistance included in my insurance policy has an 800 number—a land line—and land lines cannot (duh!) receive text messages. Using my InReach, I sent an email to my insurance agent explaining my situation, giving my GPS coordinates, and asking him to call roadside assistance for me. After 20 minutes, no reply, so I sent another email. I couldn't text him because I didn't have his cell phone number (I do now).

After another 30 minutes, I sent a text to my friend Liz asking her to call the agent and tell him to check his email. She texted back saying she'd talked with him and he would call RA for me. Soon after that I got an email saying that the flatbed was on the way. It arrived about 2.5 hours after my first email.

The tow truck driver said the insurance company would pay to tow me to Yakima or 50 miles in any direction. Since the choices were "farther from home" or "closer to home" and the only airhead mechanic I know is near Tacoma, I said, "Please take me to Tacoma." They figured the extra mileage and quoted me $480. Thankfully, they took AmEx cards and dropped me at Liz's driveway.

Needless to say, I missed the Tech Weekend. The culprit was a bad ignition, so I upgraded to an electronic ignition and had a new, higher capacity stator put in at the same time.

After this experience with the InReach, I sold both of my SPOT devices. SPOT only has pre-programmed message-out capacity and there's no way to receive a message. Sure, the SOS might work, but I'm not scrambling SAR for a mechanical problem. It's only InReach for me from now on and it is with me ALL the time because what if cell service goes down?

For those thinking you'd just wave down a passing car or fellow rider... good luck with that. I got two cars to stop--one eastbound and one westbound—explained my situation, and gave each a note:

Each driver said he'd call as soon as he got within range of cell service. According to Tad, neither one ever called. So much for the friendliness/helpfulness of Washington State drivers.

While waiting for the truck I was passed by at least 10 Harleys, two or three at a time. Are they afraid to ride solo? Only 2 waved as they went by and none even slowed down. The one dualsport who rode past did stop to see if I needed help, as did a state-owned truck the second time he came by. By then I'd received confirmation that the truck was on it's way, so I thanked them and let them continue their own trips.

Without the InReach, my wait would've been a LOT longer, especially if I'd been off the highway and down a side road somewhere without even the sparse traffic of Highway 410.

Others complain about the battery life and the small keyboard, though I can charge it on the bike if need-be and although the keyboard is a PITA and frustrating, it's better than no keyboard at all. If only it were possible to program it to accept a bluetooth keyboard I sometimes carry for my iPad.

I now travel with EXTRA trail mix or protein bars, spare fuel bottles, and more water than I think I'll need. It gets awfully hungry by the side of the road waiting for that flatbed... though now at least I know they're coming.

22 June 2018

Porn Blackmail

Got this email earlier this month (June 2018), and I still laugh when I think about it...

John Stilson <>
XQS: [john@***.com] 05.06.2018 12:07:19 Your life can be destroyed

To: "John D. Pearce" <john@***.com
Тiсket Details: XQS-774-52663
Email: john@***.com
Camera ready, Notification: 05.06.2018 12:07:19
Status: Waiting for Reply 34xuMaJy2A8f89wZnBmMkE9HrT1Ky91Xu5_Priority: Normal


What's up,

If u were more careful while playing with yourself, I wouldn't write dis message. I don't think that playing with yourself is really bad, but when all colleagues, relatives and friends get video of it- it is certainly for u.

I adjusted virus on a porn site which was visited by you. When the object tap on a play button, device starts recording the screen and all cameras on ur device starts working.

Moreover, soft makes a remote desktop supplied with key logger function from your device , so I could collect all contacts from your e-mail, messengers and other social networks. I've chosen dis e-mail because It's your working address, so you must read it.

I suppose that three hundred twenty usd is pretty enough for this little false. I made a split screen video(records from screen (interesting category ) and camera ooooooh... its funny AF)

So its your choice, if u want me to destroy ur disgrace use my bitсoin wаllеt address:  1FSyUevBKJxcjS1essoH8Skjh7MwDA2c4N
You have one day after opening my message, I put the special tracking pixel in it, so when you will open it I will know.If ya want me to show u the proofs, reply on this message and I will send my creation to five contacts that I've got from ur device.

P.S.. U can try to complain to police, but I don't think that they can help, the inquisition will last for several months- I'm from Ukraine - so I dgf LOL

The main reason I'm laughing is that I've NEVER visited a porn site on the Internet... or anywhere else. I saw about 4 minutes of a porn flick in the 70's and found it sophomoric and boring. I've never watched porn in any form since. Maybe because I'm NOT a watcher, I'm a do-er? Sitting and watching two (or more) people fuck is boring.

The secondary reason I'm laughing is that the cameras on my laptops are covered with black electrical tape, so even if someone does hack into my computer(s) and turn on the camera without me knowing, all they'll ever see is a black screen.

For those of you who do watch porn and get one of these emails, this one's probably bogus. Depending on your watching habits, the others may not be. Good luck figuring out which is which...


12 June 2018

NEW (to me) Motorcycle and Road Trip — Aug 2016

August 2016

The US government forced me to leave ViLa at home in Dalat by denying La's visa application WITHOUT explanation after $180, three months, and a one-question interview.

Yes, they can do that. What they unfortunately don't understand is that NEITHER of us has any interest in living in the US—me because there are so many other places to live when you have White Privilege and a US passport; her because "it's too expensive" and she'd miss her family too much.

I flew to Saigon and then to the US, though only after promising Honey every 20 minutes when she asked, "Yes, con gái (daughter), Daddy will come back to Honey and Mommy."

To which she always replied, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Honey, I'm sure."

I was, once again—if memory serves, this is number 10—going to meet and pick up my new ride and have some fun:

"She" is a 1989 BMW R100GS BumbleBee (note the paint scheme) and the best-fit-for-me bike I've ridden in the entire 3+ years since I bought my first. What a bike! Very comfortable to ride and in great shape. The R100GS is an "airhead", meaning the engine is air-cooled. It is also the original Adventure Bike and the grandpappy to the current very popular R1200GSA.

I bought the Bee from Dale in Spokane, Washington through an advertisement on ADVRider. He was the third owner and had most of the maintenance paperwork from Day One. Dale has another BMW and a sidecar rig and sold this beauty because he wasn't riding it anymore in favor of, mostly, the hack. He was very accommodating, to the point of holding the bike for me in his garage for four months until I could get back to the US after I sent him a $1000 non-refundable deposit. He met me at the Spokane airport; drove me to his home where he took the time to go over the bike completely with me; gave me a box of spare parts and special tools; and helped me box up and send the stuff I didn't need for the 1000+-mile road trip "home" to Tacoma.

Dale led me in his truck to a UPS store where I shipped the boxes and then to a DOT licensing office where I transferred Bee into my name and paid the taxes. That gave me a license plate and registration; the title came later in the mail.

Now that I'm the legal owner, I can head out of town and ride mostly south before turning west. I had a couple days to get to the Rally in the Gorge just outside of Hood River, Oregon, where I'd meet up with friend Rick and 100 or so other motorcycle enthusiasts for a weekend of camping, riding, talking, and learning.

The first night, I stopped at a campground near Lewiston, Idaho and ended up a few sites down from a Harley guy who wanted to know why I wasn't riding a Harley. Really??? Have you ever ridden anything else?

I wanted to answer, "Because I'm NOT a sheep (follower)!", thought I managed to hold my tongue for once and said, "Because I'm riding this beautiful classic BMW that can go anywhere I have the stones to take it." This is definitely a bike on which I will run out of talent LONG before I've reached its limits.

As is my habit, I took the scenic route,

avoiding highways and straight lines as best I could, and enjoyed every bit of it.

Those are actual full-size aluminum canoes in the sculpture
Eventually I pulled along side the Columbia Gorge

and, after one more photo stop to capture Mt. Hood,

turned into the Hood River Fairgrounds.

The Rally was a good weekend that would've been better had the food vendor honored their contract and showed up to do breakfasts. Instead, we got to ride 15 minutes into town for meals and then 15 minutes back for events. No dealbreaker, but a PITA. The organizers did manage decent dinners and one evening put together a pretty good dessert bar with peaches, ice cream, and assorted goodies.

My second-hand-and-like-new Redverz Atacama tent

was a big hit with the crowd, in part because you can stand up inside it and because the center section is a "garage" for the motorcycle that doubles as a refuge from bad weather. Within a few minutes of his first sight of mine, friend Rick (at right in one and at left in another of the above photos) decided to 86 his "yoga tent", seen here on the left edge of the photo, as soon as he could find a second-hand Redverz. He called it the yoga tent because, he said, getting undressed/dressed was about equal to one yoga class.

I had a yellow Atacama that I'd shelved when I bought the green one and told him that if my friend Gee back in Vietnam didn't want yellow, it was his. I later found a green one for Gee, so Rick is now the proud owner of his dream tent. As are Gee and I.

One of the reasons I went to the rally was to ride Maryhill Loops Road—a private, gated road with an interesting history that is only open by appointment and payment of a sizable fee.

I'd driven it many years ago in the 2005 MINI Cooper Cabriolet I still miss and figured this would be my only chance ever to ride it on a motorcycle. If you ride, you can see why it is worth going out of your way for.

While riding Maryhill Loops Road was the most fun part of the rally, learning how to properly set up the bike's suspension was the best part of the rally. Jesse from Truitt Motorcycle Education helped us understand sag and the difference between static sag and free sag. Then he worked with us to set ours correctly. Doing so did make a noticeable difference in how the bike felt and responded on the road.

If you'd like a copy of Jesse's worksheet (he gave me verbal permission to share it), send me an email and I'll get a PDF copy to you.

After the rally, Rick and I rode down to the beautiful Timberline Lodge at Hood Mountain. Built in 1937 under FDR's Works Progress Administration (WPA), it is one of the National Park lodges designed by architect Gilbert Stanley Underwood. It was used as the model for the lodge in "The Shining" movie, though the movie was filmed on sets in England. More on its history is available here.

There was a wedding reception on the stone patio, so we were unable to go out there. The one lingering memory I have of the place is the very ripe-smelling backpackers congregated in the sitting area so that the wedding guests got to walk through them to get to the reception. Since we didn't have gas masks with us, our stay was relatively short.

Rick and I parted ways after the lodge—he went directly back to Seattle and I took the scenic route to Tacoma via Mount Saint Helens.

Mount Hood
Mount Saint Helens
Mount Saint Helens

I was headed to a special, rarely visited, Mount Saint Helens overlook when the new-to-me airhead carburetor starting pissing gas all over my left boot—at about the furthest north point on this route (blue line). I'd heard of this issue, though I'd hoped that when it happened, it would be somewhere closer to home base. When I removed the carb bowl, I saw the gasket was broken—and me without a spare.

I matched the cut gasket up with the bowl rim as best I could and reinstalled the bowl. It seemed to hold, BUT it was getting late and I was NOT in the mood for either wild camping or getting stranded without backup gas canisters (which I now carry everywhere), so I turned around and headed back south because the closest campground to the south was a LOT closer than any to the north.

Just about twilight I passed the Swift Forest Campground,

turned around, and went in. After paying for the site and setting up camp,

I put the bike in the "garage" because two sites down there were a couple pick-em-up trucks of unsavory-looking characters  who showed an unusual amount of interest in it. "Out of sight, out of mind" as someone once said.

I went to take a shower... and found only a bathroom. DAMN! When I went to the campground caretaker to ask where the showers and camp store were, he said with a straight face, "About 5 miles down the road at Eagle Cliff." WHAT??? He was less than thrilled with my suggestion that he disclose this when people arrived and paid the fee. I was pissed off that I'd have to sleep dirty. Hell, I shoulda wild camped.

I woke up early the next morning and hit the Eagle Cliff store where I was able to fill up the tank, take a shower, and grab a few things for "breakfast".

Clean, less hungry, and full of fuel, I headed up NFD-25—a tight two-lane road full of frost-heave that's closed in the winter and well worth the effort to get there. After a fun and challenging 45 miles, I made it to Randle, WA, almost due south of Mount Rainier. From there, it was a short hop to Tacoma and what passes for civilization. 

My next goal was to open the dozens of boxes

of things I'd ordered from Amazon, eBay, and and that Liz very gratiously held for my arrival—things I can't buy in Vietnam and I'm going to take back with me in a month or two.

It's kinda like a self-funded Christmas.

Once the boxes are open and contents sorted, I'll head to Montana for an Airheads Workshop where I'll spend a weekend learning the intricacies and pitfalls of wrenching on the BumbleBee.

Or so I thought...

05 June 2018

Fly 'n' Ride 'n' Fly — Sept 2016

I'm VERY behind in my blogging, so this is a post about events from 2016. There are two more posts coming "soon" from BEFORE this that are partially written, then a major life-changing event after this (on October 1, 2016) that is still unresolved as I write this in June 2018. My goal is to get caught up within the next few months; we shall see...

Mid-2016—Always on the lookout for motorcycles and motorcycle-related adventures, I was very interested in a trip report I saw on the web site about a guy who'd taken a long weekend to ride vintage motorcycles in Eastern Pennsylvania, just outside Philly. It sounded interesting, so I looked him up on-line at

There was one tour left for the year AND it would fit into my upcoming scheduled trip to the US, so I sent Victory-rider and best-friend-from-college Rich an email and asked, "Are you in?" He replied the next day in the affirmative, so we booked the "Redneck Gyro IV" from September 10-12, 2016: "Gather a group of 6 enthusiasts, put them on a half dozen Italian twin cylinder motorcycles of the 1970’s, and enjoy switching bikes and covering close to 1,000 miles in three days of riding from southeastern PA to the mountains of West-by-God Virginia and back."

Upon arrival in the US, I was picked up by my good friend Liz, who graciously allowed me to stay in her spare bedroom AND borrow one of her fleet of vehicles. THAT's a friend! About three weeks after arriving, I headed back to the airport for the flight to Pittsburgh, PA, Rich's life-long hometown.

Rather than have Liz do another Tacoma-SeaTac Airport round-trip, I had Capitol Aeroporter pick me up at the house. Usually I like to keep to myself on these shuttles, BUT there was a guy aboard who just had to keep asking questions. Something about him felt wrong, though as much as I wanted to tell him to fuck-off and mind his own business, I didn't. At first.

Twit: Where you headed?
Me: Pittsburgh.
Twit: For business?
Me: No.
Twit: Then why?
Me: To ride 40-year-old motorcycles through the hills of Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Maryland.
Twit: You ride?
Me: Yes ("Doh!" went unspoken)
Twit: Do they have helmet laws in Pennsylvania?
Me: I don't know. Anyone who rides without a helmet has no brain.
Twit: The government shouldn't be able to tell us whether to wear a helmet or not.
Me: Okay.
Twit: It's about personal responsibility.
Me: Really?
Twit: Yes!
Me: I'm assuming you don't wear a helmet?
Twit: I have to in Washington state.
Me: When you ride where there's no helmet law, do you wear a helmet?
Twit: Hell no!
Me: Since you say, "It's about personal responsibility", I'm sure you have a $10 million insurance policy, right?
Twit: Huh?
Me: Is that a no?
Twit: Yes. Why would I have $10 million insurance?
Me: You're young, do you have a family?
Twit: Yes.
Me: Since you're all about Personal Responsibility, I thought you'd actually be personally responsible for your actions. I guess you're just another right-winger who thinks others should be personally responsible, but not you.
Twit: What does that have to do with insurance? (This is when he earned the name, "Twit")
Me: When your head hits the ground and cracks open like a melon, you're gonna either need a LOT of expensive medical help or a funeral. Then your wife and kids probably won't have enough money to pay the rent or buy food. A $10 million insurance policy would ensure that I, everyone else in this van, and thousands of others won't have to waste our tax dollars supporting your family because you were Personally Responsible.
Twit: (crickets)
Me: (smile)

He didn't say another word the rest of the trip, though he did give me the finger as the van drove away after dropping him at the terminal curb... which I took to mean he knows he's a twit. I'm betting he happily voted for Dolt45 (Trump).

After an uneventful flight (the best kind), Rich picked me up at the airport and took me to his house. We had a nice dinner with Robin, his very nice girlfriend of whom I'd heard a lot over the years, but had never before met.

Two mornings later, we drove to the Steubenville, Ohio, FBO (small airport) where Rich keeps his single-engine plane. 

Once our luggage was on-board and Rich's pre-flight inspection complete, we rolled down the runway and into the air.

I LOVE FLYING in small planes and Rich is an excellent pilot! He started flying back in the 70's, I think while we were still in University, and it's obvious that he loves it.

We landed at a small FBO about 10 minutes from the Kennett Square, Pennsylvania home of Joel and Lynn Samick, the owners of Retro Tours. Once we were on the ground, we called Joel; he came by to pick us up and take us to the house where we settled in our assigned bedroom and met Chuck and Robert, two of the three other participants in the weekend's ride. We also got to check out Joel's workshop and stable of bikes.

Most of the bikes have a special "Antique" license plate no longer offered by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

Joel is a former champion motorcycle racer and mechanic and maintains all of his bikes himself.

He runs Retro Tours with the help of his wife, Lynn, who's one hell of a great cook/hostess.
Rich, Lynn, and Chuck
Since the tours start EARLY in the morning and end in the late afternoon/evening a couple days later, Joel and Lynn offer a bed in their home AND a couple home-cooked meals that are NOT to be missed, for a mere $50 extra. If you take one of their tours, opt-in for this.

Lynn cooked an awesome dinner and we spent some time after talking about the next few days' ride, expectations, and preferences.
Chuck, Rich, and Robert--they're NOT upset, it was just bad timing on my part ;-)
Sleep was a bit difficult 'cause Rich SNORES... picture the cartoons where the character's snoring lifts the roof off the house and you'll be in the neighborhood (sorry, Rich).

As usual, I was the first one up the next morning, though it was very soon after that Lynn had coffee/tea available. Breakfast was as good as dinner and more than enough to keep us going until lunch, whenever that would be.

Next, it was out front to check out the bikes; all Italian and all from the 70's:
       1971 Moto Guzzi Ambassador 750
       1972 Laverda 750SF
       1974 Benelli Tornado 650
       1975 Ducati 860GT
       1979 Moto Guzzi V50
       1979 Moto Morini 500 Strada

I neglected to take individual photos of each of the bikes, so here are five of the six...

Joel does a great job keeping his stable in great running and cosmetic condition. Although they were each around 40-years-old, they ran as well as most modern bikes and better than some. He carries the spare parts that he's most likely to need and we never had an issue he couldn't solve virtually immediately.

Our route took us from Southeastern Pennsylvania (PA) to Maryland (MD), back to PA, back to MD, to West Virginia (WV), and back to PA on two-lane blacktop and through many small towns.

One of our stops was at an overlook that is definitely scenic

About halfway through the first day, the unfamiliar riding positions started my lower back complaining a bit. An hour later, it was BEGGING for relief. When I mentioned it to Joel at one of our fuel replenishment / bike swap stops—at each gas stop we rotated through the bikes so we each got to experience each bike—he suggested I use the rear pegs as my foot pegs. This worked VERY well and my lower back stopped bitching. Thanks, Joel!

We stayed both tour nights in the same rather large cabin with two levels, four or five bedrooms, depending on how you count them, and a hot tub on the deck. It was in a heavily wooded "gated development", but we didn't have to worry about the gate 'cause the bikes fit between the gate poles and the trees. There was enough elbow room between houses that we didn't hear a peep from any of our neighbors.

Rich's body was aching significantly more than mine, so he opted-out of Day 2's riding, which was to be a big loop. Not one to leave a friend "stranded", I opted to hang out with him and keep our travels down to running into town for lunch and picking up a few groceries needed for cooking my sweet potato hash for the group's Day 3 breakfast.

We missed the crash. Robert lost focus entering a curve and ended up under the guardrail, breaking both the Laverda and his leg. He was picked up by ambulance and taken to the nearest hospital (rural WV) where they determined his condition was beyond their scope of treatment. They then sent him by ambulance to a larger hospital in Morgantown, an hour or so away.

Taking care of the bike was a bigger challenge—it was both unrideable and hundreds of miles from home. Joel found a one-way rental truck and loaded in both the Laverda and his bike, while Chuck and Charles followed on their bikes. At this point, it was no longer a riding tour, but a "let's get the hell back to the cabin and figure out what happens tomorrow" slog. Joel called us and asked us to meet them in town for dinner and a discussion on the next day's logistics. The place he picked served massive sandwiches!

They also had an art print on the wall that I wanted to buy, though they refused to even consider its sale

To this day, I STILL want that print. (Edit: Thanks to Meredith for reading this and pointing out that the print is available on It's now on my Wish List for my next trip to the U.S.)

Rich was still hurting from the first day's ride, so he happily volunteered to drive the rental van and two bikes back to Joel's house while the rest of us took the normal Day 3 route back. It was the most scenic day and I wanted to stop numerous times to take photos, though Joel sets a pretty brisk pace, so I felt uncomfortable making unscheduled stops and holding everyone up—one of the many reasons I've only ever taken 3 group tours in my entire life. Joel told us we should each "ride your own ride", and for me that would include stopping numerous times to take in the scenery and snap a few photos. It just didn't feel comfortable causing the rest of the group to turn around more than once to see if I was okay. So I sucked it up and rode home hard.

Here is Joel's trip report for our adventure.

Photos of the Laverda after sliding under the guardrail:

After another great dinner and breakfast by Lynn, Rich and I flew over the beautiful Pennsylvania countryside back to Pittsburgh with a short detour to our alma mater, Bucknell. It's changed a LOT in the 40 years since we left and we felt like grandpas walking around campus; maybe 'cause we are old enough to be?

One last plug for Retro Tours