So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 4 — Rules?

In case you've missed them... Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

I've read many articles about riding in Vietnam. The great majority are written by people who only visited for a short time and those all say that there are no rules; that it's every person for him/herself.

Those writers are showing their ignorance!

Of course there are rules; they're just not the rules as you know them. It took me almost three years to figure out some of them—especially the one I call, "Do whatever the fuck you want; no one else matters."

Contrary to what you might think watching traffic go by, there are helmet laws in Vietnam that say everyone over the age of six MUST wear a helmet. The main problem with this law, other than the danger to little kids, is that apparently any semi-solid head covering is considered a "helmet". I've seen guys riding US$40,000 motorcycles (taxes and duties here add almost 100% to the cost) wearing a soft bicycle helmet as they rip through the streets of Saigon as if they're in a hurry to get on to whatever afterlife they believe in. Watch traffic in any city for an hour and you'll see construction hard hats with no chin strap; "gimme" helmets that wouldn't protect you if you fell off a chair; and a number of people who either don't fasten the chin strap or have it so loose that if they fall, the helmet would separate from their head before either hit the pavement.

The other problem is that most kids under 10 still aren't wearing a helmet.

As I've written before, there is virtually no safety education here re helmets. Most everyone wears one so the police don't stop them—except my wife. who wears one mostly because she doesn't want to listen to me bitch at her if she doesn't. Fortunately, Honey loves her 3/4 helmet, wears it everywhere,

and begged me to buy her a pink full-face helmet we saw one day. It's now hers, we're just waiting for her to grow into it.

How would you fare riding a motorbike in Vietnam? Take this simple quiz to find out if you know the rules.

Choose the best answer:

  1) When turning right, you
       a) Look to your left to ensure it's safe to proceed.
       b) Look both ways—someone could be walking down the sidewalk.
       c) Stop; look both ways; proceed when clear
       d) Don't even slow down, just go for it.

  2) When turning left, you turn from
       a) Your left lane to the new street's left lane
       b) Your left lane to the new street's right lane
       c) Your right lane to the new street's right lane
       d) Either b) or c) depending on your mood

  3) On a two-way street, the far right path is for
       a) Slower traffic
       b) People turning right onto that street
       c) On-coming traffic
       d) Both b) and c)

  4) The lines on the road are there
       a) To let you know which lane is yours
       b) To mark the center of the road
       c) To indicate whether or not it may be safe to pass another vehicle
       d) Because they have them in other countries

  5) Turn right from the right lane and left from the left lane.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) It depends.
       d) All of the above

  6) When your friend has had too much to drink, you should
       a) Take away his keys.
       b) Put him in a taxi or take him home yourself.
       c) Help him balance on his motorbike until he gets some momentum going.
       d) Both b) and c)

  7) When using your phone, you should
       a) Pull off the road until you are finished.
       b) Tell them you'll call them back when you're not driving.
       c) Ask them to call you back in 10 minutes.
       d) Not let it stop you or slow you down.

  8) When stopping to ask directions or look at the map on your phone,
       a) Pull over to the far right lane.
       b) Stop wherever you are, even if there's traffic all around.
       c) Who has time to stop? Multitask.
       d) Either b) or c)

  9) Who has the right-of-way?
       a) Whomever is in/on the largest vehicle
       b) Whomever has the biggest cojones
       c) The vehicle on the right
       d) Both a) and b)

10) The maximum safe speed is
       a) Dependent on road & weather conditions
       b) 40 kph within city limits; 60 kph outside
       c) As posted
       d) Whatever I decide it is

11) The traffic police
       a) Wear yellow uniforms
       b) Point a white baton at you when they want to talk
       c) Will accept traffic fines on-the-spot
       d) All of the above

12) The right lane is for motorbikes and the left lane is for everything else.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) In theory
       d) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (pause for a breath) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

13) When a car, truck, or bus flashes its lights at you, it means
       a) Your brights are on
       b) There are police just ahead
       c) Hello
       d) I want to be where you are. MOVE NOW!

14) The minivans are the WORST and will take you out if you let them.
       a) True
       b) False
       c) Sometimes
       d) Well, DUH-UH!

15) When entering a roundabout, who has the right-of-way?
       a) The vehicle in the roundabout.
       b) I do.
       c) Right-of-way? What's that?
       d) Either b) or c)

16) Using your headlight outside cities is
       a) Stupid because the zombies will catch you
       b) For sissies
       c) Optional
       d) Why are you riding out in the country at night? Are you suicidal?

17) Slower traffic
       a) Stays to the right
       b) Goes wherever they want
       c) May stop suddenly with no warning or turn into you
       d) Both b) and c)

18) Most locals ride as if
       a) There is no one else on the road
       b) Either their hair is on fire or going over 10 kph will kill them
       c) Whatever is behind their front wheel does not exist
       d) All of the above

19) Having the correct tire pressure is
       a) Crucial to your safety
       b) Not all that important—anywhere from 5 to 58 psi (0.35 to 4 bar) is fine
       c) There's a "correct" tire pressure?
       d) Either b) or c)

20) When making a u-turn, you
       a) Pull over to the right and wait until there is a break in traffic.
       b) Wait until the next roundabout or large intersection.
       c) U-turns are not allowed within city limits.
       d) Just go for it wherever the urge hits; everyone can wait as you block traffic.

21) When parking,
       a) Park only in designated spaces.
       b) Park anywhere, even blocking a business's main entrance.
       c) Park on the sidewalk, especially where you will block pedestrians.
       d) Both b) and c)

22) Riding on the sidewalk is permissible
       a) Never
       b) Only if there are no pedestrians within 50 meters
       c) Only during daylight hours
       d) Whenever you want to; no one else matters but you

How do you think you did? Let's find out...

Did you notice a pattern in your answers?

The answer to 6 is c)

The best answer to all the others is... d)

If you missed more than 5, it may be best to forget about riding a motorbike and bring a bit more money so you can take taxis or buses everywhere. They're very cheap.

Either way, enjoy your trip!

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 3 — Tips

A bit of what follows was touched on in either Part 1 or Part 2. Part 4 includes a couple bits repeated from previous parts because reading them again will both help you remember and let you know that it's really important.

Buying and then riding a motorcycle in throughout Vietnam is a very interesting process that can be a good-to-great experience. It can also go sideways very rapidly. If you are careful, have some basic knowledge of motorcycles and how they work, take your time, and think beyond the purchase price to the overall cost of ownership over the three or four weeks you will own the bike, your trip will be one of the most rewarding of your life. Too many people come here looking for the lowest cost motorcycle they can find and then waste days they could be riding trying instead to get the POS repaired. Don't be one of them.

While researching my first trip to Vietnam/Southeast Asia, almost everything I read said that the best or only way to truly experience it is on two wheels. I took a motorcycle training course, got my license, bought a bike, and less than 20 miles later, broke my left clavicle in a low-speed one-vehicle crash. Most of my friends said that this was the universe's way of telling me that I should not ride. I took it as a warning to f*cking pay attention. That December (2013), I arrived in Vietnam for the first time. As detailed in my very early (see December 2013 in the column to the right) posts on this blog, I bought a motorcycle in Saigon and then spent three of my 10 weeks here riding to Hanoi, mostly solo.

Hiking the Inca Trail in my mid-50's was a major "get" and one that I enjoy more in my memories than I did at the time.

How 'bout that hat?

My ride on a 125cc Yamaha YBR from Saigon to Hanoi at 60 (years old, not kph) was, literally, a life-changer. Today, five years later, I've ridden in Cambodia, Cuba, Canada, Laos, Thailand, and the US. I no longer have any interest in owning a four-wheeled vehicle and look forward to future long-distance motorcycle trips in many other countries.

Please, please, PLEASE learn to ride BEFORE you get here!!! The great majority of the dozens of moto-backpackers I've met here NEVER even rode pillion (passenger) on a motorcycle before arriving, see literally everyone over the age of 15 riding a motorbike, and think, "Hell, if they can do it, it can't be that hard/so can I." (see Part 2)

NO, you can't!!!

If you don't ride already, there are a LOT of things you don't know that can seriously injure or kill you. For example, above about 20 kph, the physics are TOTALLY DIFFERENT than those of riding a bicycle. One of them is that if you push the right handgrip away from you, you will lean over and turn to the right.

Some of the things that it will help you to know if you ride in Vietnam:
1) 99+% of the people who turn right onto a roadway NEVER look to see if it's safe; they just go.
2) Though at first it will not seem like it, there are "rules of the road".
3) Those rules here are DIFFERENT than those of your home country.
3) Paved surfaces outside (and sometimes in) the cities can be much closer to what Westerners would call "off-road".
4) Some of the buses and many of the minivans you encounter will actively try to run you off the road.
5) If you assume that EVERYONE else on the road is trying to kill you, you will fare much better. They're not, though it will often seem they are.
6) As my friend Glen said just yesterday, the biggest waste of money in Vietnam is that spent painting the lines in the middle of roads.
7) Also always assume you are invisible...

Please note that I am NOT trying to discourage the adventurous you; I am simply telling you that you need more preparation than you think you do.

Before you leave your home country, make sure you have emergency evacuation insurance like that provided by MedJet or Global Rescue. I have Global Rescue and am very happy with their customer service. If you are more than 60 miles from your home address and need emergency transport, they will take care of it for you—including a medical jet, if necessary. They also have medical professionals (nurses, PAs, etc.) with whom you can consult over the phone for less serious medical issues. Like any insurance, you're probably not going to need it, but if you do, you're gonna be glad you have it. If I go down hard, motorcycle or not, ViLa and friends here know to call Global Rescue to evacuate me to the US for medical care.

I guarantee that you do NOT want to spend even one hour of your vacation in a Vietnamese hospital. If you are unfortunate enough to be their guest, you will have to pay cash up-front for everything—even if you have insurance. You pay a deposit when you arrive, then you pay again before you see each doctor or have an x-ray or do anything other than sitting and waiting. The medical system here is not set up to bill insurance companies, so you pay up-front and wait for the insurance company to reimburse you. Individual items and services aren't expensive, but they do add up... and if you don't have the cash, you'll either have to find it or suffer elsewhere. There is no "charity" at Vietnamese hospitals.

If you're in the hospital overnight, you'd better have some friends or family to bring you food and protect your valuables or you won't eat and your things may wander off while you sleep. The locals usually have a family member or friend rent a cot and sleep when the patient isn't. You'll also need cash to entice the doctors and nurses to pay attention to you during your stay. Worst case, send me an email and I'll see if I can contact someone in the same city who can help you out.

There are a number of good web sites out there with tips and/or routes and/or trip blogs (trogs?). My favorite for trip blogs is Vietnam Coracle. It's written by a Brit who rides all over Vietnam on a 125cc scooter and manages to find all kinds of seemingly-hidden-to-most-Westerners gems; restaurants, hotels, roads, and more. I recommend it every chance I get. AdvRider, Horizons Unlimited, RideAsia are also good sources of information. Nomadasaurus is a good one for fairly up-to-date travel information, though it is one on which you need to be selective as to which posts you believe. My feeling is that, on most sites, if you go with the majority opinion, you'll most likely be alright. The link to Nomadasaurus will take you to a page dedicated to the topic of buying a motorbike in SE Asia. If you go to their home page, you will find a lot of other information/opinions. My biggest gripe with the site is the repetition caused by people who post questions without bothering to read the previous questions and responses where their question is very often already answered.

If you would like more information, send an email to "jdpearce at proton dot me". I will reply with a couple of PDFs of things I wrote for my friend who owns Flamingo Travel to give to customers and prospective customers. One is about riding here and the other is full of tips on how to buy a second-hand motorbike. I think you'll find them both interesting and useful.

Print them out and read them a few times before you get on the plane and then again on the plane. You'll have time; it's a 15+ hour trip from the North American west coast and longer from other places on the continent. If you're in Europe or Australia, it's a bit less time on the plane, though still plenty of time to review them again.

While looking for something else, I found these videos that you might find useful:

Buying a bike

Why you do NOT want a Chinese bike

Come to Vietnam for the riding trip of a lifetime. Just remember to stay safe while you're enjoying all there is to offer here.

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 2 — Reality

If you haven't read Part 1, it's here.

From yesterday's news:

"Road crashes are a leading cause of deaths in Vietnam, killing almost one person every hour. More than 9,000 traffic accidents occurred in the first half of this year, killing nearly 4,100 people and injuring over 7,000, according to the National Traffic Safety Committee."

Click here: Fatal mishaps prompt Vietnamese province to curb traffic violations by foreigners

An average of ONE TRAFFIC DEATH IN VIETNAM EVERY HOUR!!! 

They're not all foreigners, of course. The great majority are locals. Do you want to take the chance you're one?

Did you notice that the locals are often more interested in gawking and taking photos than helping?

If you don't have a motorcycle license and a bit of experience, DO NOT ride a motorcycle in Vietnam.

Period.

Full stop.

Yes, riding through the country on two wheels is, by far, the BEST way to see Vietnam. It is probably a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so do it right.

If you want to ride a motorbike here,

1) Take a motorcycle safety class and get your license.
2) Buy a motorcycle and get at least a couple thousand road miles under your belt.
3) Take an off-road riding class.
4) Ride Forest Service roads and a few dirt trails. Get comfortable with your rear wheel sliding out.
5) Bring your helmet, armored jacket, and sturdy ankle-protecting boots, and come ride Vietnam.

Stay safe.

Part 3 is here.
Part 4 is here.
Part 5 is here.
Part 6 is here.

The Ease of Switching to Medicare — Part 2

If you've not yet read "Part 1", it's here...

Uh, yeah. It wasn't over...

This morning, 8 hours after I posted Part 1, I went to MyMedicare.gov to sign up for an on-line account. They won't let me.

They say they can't match the information I gave them. That's probably because they require a five-digit zip code and mine is six, FFS! Yes, I tried using only the first five—no joy. I also tried 00000 because when I called Medicare to get help, they said they don't have a zip code for me, though they do have the rest of my address.

That didn't work, either.

Now I'm on hold waiting to talk with someone at Social Security. Five minutes after they told me the wait would be "one hour and a half" on hold, the computer said, "We regret you've waited so long..." LMAO

Thinking about the fact that Social Security writes "over 50 million" benefit checks every month to retirees, severely disabled, and others, I'm wondering how many people die each day while waiting on hold to talk with them.

For those who survive, how much productivity is lost while untold hundreds wait 90 minutes to talk to someone who may not even be able to help them? In previous calls, I've been asked if I want someone to call me back when it's my turn. That would allow me to do a bit more sandblasting or pack for my upcoming trip or take a shower. No such courtesy this time.

29 minutes down, 61 to go... give-or-take.

UNBELIEVABLE!

After 1 hour, 31 minutes, 16 seconds, my call was FINALLY picked up. And the person on the other end of the line COULDN'T FUCKING HEAR ME EVEN THOUGH I WAS YELLING after the third time she said she couldn't hear me. The computer at the beginning could hear me just fine, so WTF? It was probably due to my call being via Skype; unfortunately the best way I've found to call outside of Vietnam.

The pain and frustration of this was apparently insufficient, because I called back immediately, jumped through all of the pre-qualifying hoops, and was told my "estimated wait time is 35 minutes." Could be worse, right?

So... the agent could hear me this time and added my proper postal code. The number they were using was the "Consular Code" 962 that identifies me as closest to the Consulate in Saigon. As if that's going to help Vietnam Post find me!

In 24-48 hours, the MyMedicare site should have the changed data and let me register.

Now the bad news... until I turn 66, Social Security claws back $1 for every $2 I make over $17,040 in addition to SSI AND I still get to pay taxes on both the SSI and other incomes. What a crock of shit! How do they expect people to "live" just on SSI? Thank you Congress, you privileged assholes who have no fucking clue what it's like to survive in the real world. Example: The wife of soon to be ex-Senator Ted Cruz (Vampire—Texas) works for Goldman-Sachs (the firm that's directly responsible for EVERY economic crash for over 100 years) and pulls down about $500,000 per annum PLUS bonuses. Ted, the most hated-by-his-peers man in Congress, makes $174,000. She recently complained that at over $700,000 a year they can't afford to buy a second home anytime soon. Boo-fucking-hoo.

What's that say for those of us who make less than $35,000 a year? Note that Vampire Ted and his wife only pay FICA on about 17% of their income, while the rest of us pay it on 100% of our income. They're also at the forefront of the attempts by the Radical Right to either get rid of or privatize Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, etc.

QUIT CALLING THESE PROGRAMS "entitlements"! I paid into them for over 45 years and it'll be at least 6 years before I get back the money I lent the government. They are INSURANCE programs. Either learn how insurance works or STFU.

Even living in Vietnam, without SSI checks every month, I'd be hurtin' for certain.

Oh, yeah. I'm also paying for Medicare every month, just like everyone else who is covered.

The "Ease" of Switching to Medicare

That it's a government-run program under the regime of the Perpetually Lying/ Ignorant/Nationalist/Fake Self-made Billionaire/Hate-Monger/Racist/Misogynist/ Xenophobe/Fake Christian/Born-between-third-base-and-home-plate-and-thinks-he-hit-a-homer President Bone Spurs, should have warned me it was going to be a cluster-fuck... and I guess in some ways it did.

Since my birthday is in November and this is the year I complete my 65th lap around the sun, I theoretically get to partake in Medicare starting 01 November. Like a good German, I called Medicare three months prior to sign up. They told me that since I am already collecting the money I paid over 45 years of working back from Social Security that I would be automatically enrolled in Medicare. They also told me that they would send my Medicare card—necessary to show all providers if you want coverage—months before that 01 November beginning date and that it would be sent to me here at my home in Vietnam, since that's the address Social Security has for me.

They lied.

Go figure...

I am going to the US next week for a couple weeks of facilitation the first two weeks of November. As soon as I knew about the work, I called and made a few doctors' appointments. Since I'm unsure how much I'll have to pay out-of-pocket under Medicare, I did what I could to schedule everything for the week of 29 October. As of now, there is only one scheduled after my Medicare benefits kick in, though that may change.

I called Medicare last week to ask why I'd not yet received my card. Their computers were down, so the woman who answered my call told me to call back.

I just got off the phone with Medicare. They told me:

1) My card has NOT YET BEEN MAILED (so much for "months before").
2) They can NOT give me my Medicare number over the phone.
3) I need my Medicare number to get a provider to talk with or look at me.
4) They can only mail a card to the address (Vietnam) Social Security has for me.
5) If I go to the Social Security office after I arrive in the US, they can probably give me a letter verifying my Medicare coverage.

Notes:
    a) On a good day, a visit to the Olympia Social Security office will burn only 3 hours.
    b) They can PROBABLY give me the letter, so I might waste 3 hours for nothing.

So-o-o

I took a chance and called Social Security with the hope that MAYBE someone there could give me my Medicare number over the phone.

*The phones open for business at 7 a.m. in each time zone.
*I called FROM VIETNAM at 6:50 a.m PST, hoping they wouldn't put me in the Pacific Time Zone.
*They did.
*I called back at 7:02 a.m. PST and was told that all agents are busy and if I give them a call-back number, I don't have to wait on hold.
*Cool!
*I gave them my US number and was told I'd get a call back in ONE HOUR AND 15 MINUTES!!!
*Only 2 minutes after the phone lines open and they're already backed up 38x that long??? How does that happen?

My penultimate question to the Medicare person was... "Why did they not yet send my Medicare card?"

The answer was that they have to mail out new cards to EVERYONE because they are no longer using Social Security numbers as Medicare numbers.

My last question was, "Why didn't they put new Medicare customers at the front of the queue because we don't have an old card to use?"

The answer was, "I don't know."

I'm thinking no one who's still there under Der Fuehrer is bright enough to figure out a way to do that.

Or maybe they saw my Twitter account?

So You Want to Come to Vietnam and Ride a Motorbike? Part 1 — The Basics

I just read about a kid (I'm guessing early- to mid-20's from the "before" photo) who had a bad motorbike accident here in Vietnam and his family's trying to raise money on a crowdfunding site to pay for his medical bills.

I'm sorry he had a bad accident, BUT NOT enough to reward his irresponsible stupidity. Anyone who rides a motorbike in Vietnam without proper licensing AND insurance is just asking for trouble.

Anyone who rides a motorbike anywhere outside his/her own country without emergency evacuation insurance is just plain stupid.

Sure, we all think "it won't happen to me" until it does.

DO NOT come to Vietnam or anywhere to ride a motorbike without:
1) Previous motorcycle riding experience (as the operator)
2) Proper medical evacuation insurance (I highly recommend Global Rescue)
3) Valid medical insurance that covers you HERE
4) A valid driver's license AND International Driving Permit
5) A good, solid, full face helmet with DOT or ECE rating
6) Common fucking sense

The last one was added after I read about a guy who crashed while taking a selfie WHILE RIDING FAST.

"What a maroon!"—Bugs Bunny

Re the International Driving Permit (IDP)... Vietnam recognizes ONLY IDPs issued by signers of a 1968 agreement. The IDP from most countries (including the US, the UK, and Australia) is recognized under an 1949 agreement. Vietnam does NOT recognize these.

That said, get one and carry it with you along with your home country driver's license WITH MOTORCYCLE ENDORSEMENT. If you get hurt in an accident, there's a strong chance your insurance will cover your injuries.

If you are injured in an accident and DO NOT have a valid motorcycle license, there's an excellent chance your insurance will NOT cover your medical bills. I've read on social media where people say they just told the insurance company they were walking and got hit by a motorbike, BUT that's fraud and a really, really bad idea.

Re the helmet... the laws of physics are the same in Vietnam as in your home country, though you couldn't tell it by looking at the backpackers I see weekly riding in a wife-beater, flip-flops, and shorts topped off with the standard Vietnamese helmet. As I've written here before, 99+% of the helmets worn by native Vietnamese are designed only to keep the police from stopping and citing them. The idea that it should protect your brain carrier is completely lost. If you ride at home, you probably have a good helmet. Bring it. If you ride without a helmet or with a POS helmet, you deserve whatever happens to you—including having to re-learn the alphabet. Or worse.

Part 2 covers the reality of riding here... and is a MUST READ.
Part 3 offers riding tips.
Part 4 is on the rules of riding in Vietnam.
Part 5 is a meme.
Part 6 is about the worst-case scenario.

Part 7 is a photo that sums it all up.

Until then, be smart and stay safe.

Twitter is run by twits

Forget about the fact that Twitter is allowing Alex Jones to continue spewing his hatred, lies, and ridiculous conspiracy theories while Google, YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook have banned him...

Apparently CEO @Jack has also hired a bunch of twits to run his support department, too!

Tired of the BULLSHIT that is most of Facebook, I recently switched to using Twitter for my political opining and for some basic information. More detailed information is gleaned from a number of non-social media platforms.

I never actually sign out of Twitter, I just close the browser window. Yes, my laptop cameras are all covered with black electrical tape so if any of the sites I visit try to turn on the camera, they'll only see a black screen.

This morning, when I opened Safari (default browser for Macs), Twitter wanted me to sign in. Okay, no problem.

Uh, yes it is.

After putting in my email address and password, I get this screen:

WTF??? I did NOT sign up for secondary verification! Oh, well... once I sign in I can remove it.

So I waited...

And waited...

And waited...

So far, 10 hours later, no SMS with a six-digit code. No SMS messages AT ALL from Twitter. And yes, my phone number ends in 67. I even tried to log in with my phone number, but still got the same promise of a six-digit code.

Those who read this and know me are, most likely, thinking, "There's NO WAY he waited 10 hours before contacting Twitter Support!"

And you would be right. I waited all of 4 minutes before going to the "Support" page.

Scanning EVERYTHING, I found that the only real "support" you can get is IF YOU ARE ALREADY LOGGED IN. The only option open to me was to "Submit A Ticket" to "Report A Problem".

After completing the form and playing the Captcha game, I submitted the ticket.

Within 20 seconds, I got the following email. There's no need to read the whole thing, it's just more of the BS that's on the so-called "Support" page and of no use to someone who's NOT already logged in. Note the last paragraph; the one beginning with, "If you've tried the above options and still need help..."

YES, I STILL NEED HELP! So I "reply to this email for further assistance... from the email address associated with ... (my) Twitter account. Almost immediately, I get this:

I'm stuck in a flippin' loop!!!

Now I'm looking for the cameras from "Candid Camera". Then I remember that Alan Funt's been dead for decades and realize that I've been punked by an auto-responder and now one's even watching. F*CK!

What's worse, no actual person will ever see my dilemma.

This is VERY frustrating, BUT not enough to get me to create a new account and start over.

Screw Twitter! I'm gonna go out and play.


Note: After 3 days, I finally got the six-digit code and was able to log in to my account. No explanation as to why things suddenly changed, though.

It happened so fast...

"Experience teaches you things you wish you didn't know."—Grandpa Tumbleweed (a.k.a. Harv Read)

01 October 2016

I was very much enjoying my vacation in and around Olympia, WA. A few weeks earlier, I picked up my 1989 R100GS BumbleBee and was having a great time riding every day with the green monkey Honey picked out for me.

When I asked her, "Why a monkey?", she rubbed the hair on my forearm and said,

"Same same Daddy".

He's ridden on the bikes with me ever since.

I'd already taken a couple of trips, the second one cut short by a bad ignition, and had a few more planned (Olympic Peninsula, Crater Lake, and more) before heading home to Vietnam.

I was having a GREAT day! It started with a warm, filling, excellent breakfast at The New Moon Cafe.

As I waited for breakfast, I took the time to look through a couple of the hand-made books that were on all the tables. They were blank until the pages were filled in by previous diners; some creative; some simple; all interesting. I was so busy enjoying what others contributed that I failed to take the time to add a bit of my 'wisdom' to the collection.

I'm pretty sure this was the Amsterdam omelet

After breakfast I rode to check out a few self-storage units for storing the bike while I'm outside the US, which is most of the time. The best fit was one in Tumwater and I paid for the next year in advance.

Later in the afternoon, Doug R called to invite me to join him and Cathy for a wine tasting at the Wine Loft on Columbia. I got busy packing and re-arranging the massive amounts of stuff I'd already bought to take back to Vietnam or leave here in the storage unit and almost forgot.

By the time I got to the Wine Loft (about 5 or so), Doug and Cathy were already gone, so I left and called Doug to see if they wanted to go out to dinner.

"We're cooking, come join us in about an hour." ABSOLUTELY! There is no flippin' way I'm ever turning down a Cathy- and Doug-cooked meal, so I mounted up and started riding back to the AirBnB on Adams Street to shower and change. Adams was closed for construction at the north end, so I continued one street east and picked up Jefferson, heading south.

It was raining lightly and, in no hurry, I rode at about the speed Donald Trump would run for the first 5 meters if a grizzly bear were chasing him. Just south of State Street, two sets of railroad tracks run parallel to and pretty much down the middle of the street. There was a van parked just ahead, so there was only about a car's width of riding room.

My front wheel found a pothole at the same time it found gaping seam of the wet railroad track

Yes, the yellow line on the left is the MIDDLE of the two-lane street.

and "the manure hit the windmill."—Terry Pratchett in Snuff

Next thing I know, I'm lying on the asphalt with my knee in the air.

It happened so fast I didn't even have time to think (as I have before—ask me some time about hang gliding at Kitty Hawk), "OH F*CK; this is gonna hurt!"

If I had, I'd've been right. If fact, today—21 months later—it STILL hurts. More on why in a future entry.

What happened? When I hit the pothole/RR track, the bike fell immediately over like it'd been pushed. The first thing to hit the ground was my right knee, followed a little faster-than-immediately by the combined weight of the rest of my body and the bike--total of around 730 lbs (~330 kg). I remember crossing the intersection and noticing a family walking down the sidewalk. My next memory is of lying on my side clutching my right knee and saying, "F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK, F*CK..." and so on.

Someone called 9-1-1 and the Olympia Fire Department Paramedics showed up and took very good care of me.

The guy in the middle is trying to straighten my knee and I'm trying to convince him NOT to do it. I won.

A few City of Olympia police officers also came and the guy on the left filled out an accident report.

Had I been going faster, I would've bounced and/or slid—much like the difference between dropping a rock versus tossing it underhand. The first involves a lot more concentrated instantaneous energy transfer than the latter and since I was wearing top-of-the-line full protective gear, a long slide on blacktop would've only, at worst, burned holes in my gear. Unfortunately, when you go off the bike, what happens next is already determined—there's no choosing your poison.

The paramedics needed to take off my riding pants (ATGATT!) and asked if I had jeans or other pants on. When I told them "only boxers", they said they'd cover me a blanket. Thanks, guys. Right now, someone getting their jollies by seeing a 62-year-old man lying on the street in his shorts surrounded by medical personnel is NOT even my tertiary concern. They got a blanket out of the Aid Unit and covered me up anyway.

While they were getting me situated, I gave my phone to one of the firefighters and asked if he could take a couple photos for this blog entry (see above). Then I called Doug; he came down to take possession of the bike and find someone to ride it to his house and temporary storage. A couple weeks later, Rick F came to the house and rode it to the storage unit. Then, Rick and Diane F (not related) came to the AirBnB with Diane's truck and helped me move a bunch of camping and riding gear to the storage unit. This way, when I come back to ride, most of what I need will be waiting for me.

After getting me on the gurney with my knee and lower leg elevated and supported by the pile of my riding gear, they put me in the Aid Unit (ambulance), asked for my hospital preference, and headed for Providence St. Peter's ER.

While I was waiting for the on-call orthopedic surgeon to arrive, I had a visit from one of the police officers who'd responded to the accident scene. He told me that I was one of many to go down in that exact spot—they get as many as three or four accident calls per month at that exact spot and have for years. Later that night, when Doug and Cathy brought dinner to me in the hospital room, Doug told me that, about five years ago, he'd gone down in that exact same spot on a bicycle.

WTF??? Why hasn't the city fixed this???

They took me in to x-ray and the x-ray technician asked me to straighten my leg so he could get the shots he needed.

I told him that every time I moved it (it was still resting on the pile of my riding gear), it hurt like hell and that I didn't think I could straighten it. It wasn't about pain, it just wouldn't straighten. He asked if he could try? Sure, be my guest. He worked very slowly and gently and damned if he didn't manage to get it lying flat on the table without any increase in my pain level. I may've been high on morphine, and if so, that probably contributed, too.

A bit later, the surgeon, Dr. Anthony Agtarap, came to my ER cubicle and said that I had a 'tibial plateau fracture' and he'd do the repair surgery the next morning.

The space between the femur (top) and the tibia (bottom, right) on the left
is supposed to be similar to the spacing on the right.

Dr. Agtarap was unknown to me, so I told him that I already had a couple excellent orthopedic surgeons who'd previously worked on me. He asked who, and when I told him, he replied, "We all work in the same practice (Olympia Orthopedics)." He also said that it might be a few days before one of them could do the procedure and that they don't answer their phones on weekends unless they're on-call.

I figured that if he worked at Oly Ortho, he must be good, so I said, "Okay."

They sent me upstairs to a room with a pretty good view and a room service-like menu.

In case you're unfamiliar with the plastic bottle on the table, it's what I got to pee into for the next 8 days.

I was very hungry, so I ordered roast turkey with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.

Later, when Doug and Cathy came by with the dinner I'd missed and flowers, I ate again.

The next morning they took me down to surgery, prepped me, put me out, and cobbled my leg back together.

When Dr. Agtarap came by the room later, he said that the top of my tibia had been "lying in the meat". Wow! He also told me that I was to use crutches and NOT to put any weight on it for three months. THREE MONTHS??? Our house in Vietnam has three flights of stairs, so it's going to be interesting.

And it was... interesting.

I stayed in the hospital for a week after the surgery, checking out on the 9th. After a couple days of begging rides with friends and occasionally using Uber, I got all my packing done, loaded up the storage unit, and checked out of the AirBnB. Doug and Cathy insisted I stay at their place for my last few days in town and since negotiating their rather narrow stairs could've been a disaster, they set me up with an air mattress on the living room floor.

After a post-surgery check up on the 12th, and with the surgeon's permission, I flew home early on the 13th. One of the caveats of allowing me to leave was that I NOT fly steerage from the US to Asia. Fortunately, I had frequent flyer miles that got me a First Class seat on Alaska to San Francisco and on Cathay Pacific to Hong Kong and then Saigon. Business Class would've been fewer miles if it'd been available, but it wasn't and I wanted to GO HOME.

Almost every day I was in the hospital, ViLa told me to, "come home and let your family take care of you. It's the Vietnamese way." By "your family", she meant her family who has very graciously taken me in as one of their own.

Once I got to the Seattle airport, I got taken everywhere in a wheelchair, so it was quite comfortable. The most amazing thing about getting 'the wheelchair treatment' was that between Alaska Airlines, Cathay Pacific, and Vietnam Airlines, the most solicitous service was by Vietnam Air; except for the guy in Saigon who pushed the chair a few centimeters too far into the elevator, banging my leg on the far wall.

Honey and ViLa flew down to Saigon to meet me and fly back to Dalat. Vietnam Airlines put all three of us in a special lift truck,

in which they drove us to the right rear door of the Airbus A321, raised the compartment up to the door, and loaded us into the plane. They gave us seats in the last row so that my hobbling was minimized and it was an uneventful flight. Upon arrival in Dalat, we waited until the other passengers deplaned before getting on to another truck like the one in Saigon and repeating the process in reverse.

Every day I would hobble up the stairs to the salon (living room) and spend most of the day reading or on-line. ViLa and Honey were very helpful and never complained that I was a burden, though I know I was. Her (our) extended family helped with the occasional meal and chipping in to help with Honey when we needed it.

Three months after the surgery, on 02 January, I said good riddance to the crutches. For a short while, I used a cane both to get around and, more important, to let the public know I was a bit impaired. This helped most people to give me a wider berth than usual, decreasing the likelihood I'd get knocked down.

The surgeon told me that it would take a few months before the pain and swelling went away, so I waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, on 26 March, a week short of six months after surgery, I flew down to Saigon. On the 27th, I saw a Western orthopedic surgeon. He took one look at the x-ray taken during my 12 October surgical follow-up visit

and told me that until the "gash" in the top of the tibia was repaired—most likely with a full knee replacement—the pain and swelling would NEVER go away.

That first night in the hospital when I talked with the surgeon, I'd asked him, "I'm in my 60's; at some point I'm probably going to need a knee replacement, so can you do it now?"

He replied, "The top of your tibia is missing—there's nothing to attach it to."

Now that the original fractures were healed, I could get the new knee. Unfortunately, it was 10-15 years sooner than the surgeon had estimated back in October.

Next time: I get to return to the US for a second major knee surgery.

Thinking back to the Grandpa Tumbleweed quote at the top of this piece, I wish I didn't know how good the food is at St. Pete's or what a tibial plateau fracture is.

Breakdown — Sept 2016

September 2016
I bought a Delorme (now Garmin) InReach Explorer

for 25% off at REI's 2016 Memorial Day sale and it was waiting for me in one of the dozens of boxes of things I'd ordered before arrival.

Soon after arriving back in Tacoma on my new-to-me R100GS, I activated it.

On September 1, I rode from Tacoma, WA toward Western Montana for an Airheads Tech Weekend where I'd learn to wrench on my beautiful bike. The InReach was in my jacket pocket.

A couple hours into the ride, the bike lost power. No sputter like when running out of gas, just died. After five minutes, it started up. Then, 20 miles further down the road it died; this time for good. Cayuse Pass (just west of Mount Rainier) was behind me and Yakima, WA was 45 miles in front of me.

This is the actual tracking map of my route provided by the InReach

The nearest cell service was about 10 miles out of Yakima... 35 miles ahead, so I turned off my phone to save the battery.

The roadside assistance included in my insurance policy has an 800 number—a land line—and land lines cannot (duh!) receive text messages. Using my InReach, I sent an email to my insurance agent explaining my situation, giving my GPS coordinates, and asking him to call roadside assistance for me. After 20 minutes, no reply, so I sent another email. I couldn't text him because I didn't have his cell phone number (I do now).

After another 30 minutes, I sent a text to my friend Liz asking her to call the agent and tell him to check his email. She texted back saying she'd talked with him and he would call RA for me. Soon after that I got an email saying that the flatbed was on the way. It arrived about 2.5 hours after my first email.

The tow truck driver said the insurance company would pay to tow me to Yakima or 50 miles in any direction. Since the choices were "farther from home" or "closer to home" and the only airhead mechanic I know is near Tacoma, I said, "Please take me to Tacoma." They figured the extra mileage and quoted me $480. Thankfully, they took AmEx cards and dropped me at Liz's driveway.

Needless to say, I missed the Tech Weekend. The culprit was a bad ignition, so I upgraded to an electronic ignition and had a new, higher capacity stator put in at the same time.

After this experience with the InReach, I sold both of my SPOT devices. SPOT only has pre-programmed message-out capacity and there's no way to receive a message. Sure, the SOS might work, but I'm not scrambling SAR for a mechanical problem. It's only InReach for me from now on and it is with me ALL the time because what if cell service goes down?

For those thinking you'd just wave down a passing car or fellow rider... good luck with that. I got two cars to stop--one eastbound and one westbound—explained my situation, and gave each a note:

Each driver said he'd call as soon as he got within range of cell service. According to Tad, neither one ever called. So much for the friendliness/helpfulness of Washington State drivers.

While waiting for the truck I was passed by at least 10 Harleys, two or three at a time. Are they afraid to ride solo? Only 2 waved as they went by and none even slowed down. The one dualsport who rode past did stop to see if I needed help, as did a state-owned truck the second time he came by. By then I'd received confirmation that the truck was on it's way, so I thanked them and let them continue their own trips.

Without the InReach, my wait would've been a LOT longer, especially if I'd been off the highway and down a side road somewhere without even the sparse traffic of Highway 410.

Others complain about the battery life and the small keyboard, though I can charge it on the bike if need-be and although the keyboard is a PITA and frustrating, it's better than no keyboard at all. If only it were possible to program it to accept a bluetooth keyboard I sometimes carry for my iPad.

I now travel with EXTRA trail mix or protein bars, spare fuel bottles, and more water than I think I'll need. It gets awfully hungry by the side of the road waiting for that flatbed... though now at least I know they're coming.